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beatnikside today. It was raining and I felt like writing a little thank-you note.
EUREKA BRASS BAND--1962
"We're gonna play like nobody's business," Gums Chevalier, known as Franklin only to his mother and to her, announced somberly. He was drunk, but that wasn't anything unusual for this time of day. He was usually lit by noon. He was a quiet drunk, though, not a troublemaker. Most he ever did was tell stories about his time in the service and cry once in a while for reasons even he couldn't explain. Today he'd come in wearing his suit. He only wore his suit when somebody he knew had died.
"What you want to play for?" Killjoy Johnson grumbled. Gums didn't take the question personally. Killjoy had sucked every bit of merriment out of things for as long as he could remember. Even when they were kids, he could turn a game of marbles into a dismal and forlorn affair. "Ain't no sense in it. No sense at all. White gal wants to kill herself. Well, as I see it, that just ain't none of our affair."
"Brother, if you'd ever seen her…seen that light beaming out of her, you'd know why. She was the most beautiful thing I've seen on this earth. Just being around her made you feel like you had your face toward the sun on a warm summer day."
Gums shook his head sadly and took another slow draw off his scotch. Killjoy's first instinct was to tell Gums how foolish he sounded, but he could see that Gums was just about as blue as he could get. Even he had his limits as to how much salt he was willing to rub into a wound.
"What you talking about, old man? You mean to say that you knew her?" Lawrence Adair slapped Gums on the back. He was a mean sort and had only returned from Angola a couple of months ago for killing Jack Greenville in a knife fight. Everybody knew that Jack had been screwing Lawrence's baby sister, so he'd only got eight years. Still, Gums was always leery of him. Once you kill a man, it's no big stretch to kill another one.
"He sure as hell did know her!" Killjoy growled, "Shit, he played in the band at her USO show, fool! Over there in Korea when you were still trying to figure out what to do with that little green bean hanging between your legs and crying for your mama in prison."
Killjoy wasn't afraid of Lawrence on account of Lawrence being his nephew. He'd gotten Lawrence a job selling newspapers down on Canal Street, so Lawrence owed him. Even if he hadn't, Killjoy would have still spoken his mind because that's just the sort of man he was. He'd tell you what he thought of you even after you'd knocked his teeth loose, spitting blood at you while he cussed your whole family all the way back to caveman days.
"Tell him, Gums. Tell him what she said to you." Killjoy had heard the story a thousand times, but now he was getting into the spirit on things thanks to his tenth or twelfth beer so far that day.
Gums straightened up on his stool and focused his eyes on a stage far away. He spoke slowly and deliberately, like somebody reading scripture. He told the whole story this time. This was his time to testify. Not to just how he saw her and she said hello. But he told the story that he'd never told anyone before...the story about what she'd done. "I was just standing there, waiting to go on with the rest of the boys after she was done. She had a whole mess of people around her, escorting her around so's nobody could grab a hold of her...you know, her being a big star and all those men going without for so long and all. Well, she stopped right by me and I didn't notice at first because I had my eyes down. I didn't want to get in no trouble for being disrespectful. So there I am, minding my business, when she walks right up to me in all this crowd. She asks me, `What's your name, soldier?' I looked up at her and I couldn't even hardly talk for a minute. Her eyes were so big, so full of kindness that I got a lump in my throat the size of a melon. She had these eyes, see, that made you want to spill out every bit of sorrow you had just so you could have yourself filled up with good things, beautiful things. It was like she could tell you with her eyes that she knew how the world could beat you up so bad that you got no more room left for anything lovely or clean. I could have wept like a baby right there, just from looking at her. I told her that my name was Gums Chevalier, except my mama called me Franklin. She laughed like a little girl and took my hand. Of course, everybody there just about fell over. Ain't no white lady gonna take the hand of no black solider. That just don't happen. Then she put her arms around me and whispered real quiet in my ear. She smelled sweet, like a big bowl of fresh picked peaches. She told me, `Well, my mama called me Norma Jean. You take care of yourself, Franklin.' Then she gave me a squeeze around the neck and kissed my cheek. Right there, in front of all those people, she treated me like a man. Like any man anywhere in the world. She gave me back my dignity, wrapped it around my neck with her arms. I thought that I was surely dreaming and I'd wake up the next morning to find none of it ever happened. But it did happen. It happened just like that. And today we're gonna go out there and play for her."
Gums' hands were shaking and he wanted to cry, but he didn't. "Whatever happened to her to make her so sad, it don't matter now. But I want her to hear me playing so she'll know I never forgot what she did."
Lawrence was quiet because he was afraid that if he spoke, he'd let out what he was thinking. How he kept all his desires and longings for that same thing...that same something lovely and clean that he hadn't felt since he was a kid. He felt full of something that was good and bad all at once. Maybe it was hope. He didn't know what it was, but he looked at Gums with a new respect. Killjoy stepped off his barstool and picked up his trombone case.
He put his arm around Gums, just like he did when they were boys. Then Killjoy did something Gums hadn't seen him do for at least a couple of years. He smiled. And with that smile, Gums knew that he'd done right by her. "Well, let's get on out there then and play like nobody's business." Killjoy said. He and Gums walked out the door together, with Lawrence following behind, feeling like his face was toward the sun on a warm summer day.
beatnikside today. It was raining and I felt like writing a little thank-you note."We're gonna play like nobody's business," Gums Chevalier, known as Franklin only to his mother and to her, announced somberly. He was drunk, but that wasn't anything unusual for this time of day. He was usually lit by noon. He was a quiet drunk, though, not a troublemaker. Most he ever did was tell stories about his time in the service and cry once in a while for reasons even he couldn't explain. Today he'd come in wearing his suit. He only wore his suit when somebody he knew had died.
"What you want to play for?" Killjoy Johnson grumbled. Gums didn't take the question personally. Killjoy had sucked every bit of merriment out of things for as long as he could remember. Even when they were kids, he could turn a game of marbles into a dismal and forlorn affair. "Ain't no sense in it. No sense at all. White gal wants to kill herself. Well, as I see it, that just ain't none of our affair."
"Brother, if you'd ever seen her…seen that light beaming out of her, you'd know why. She was the most beautiful thing I've seen on this earth. Just being around her made you feel like you had your face toward the sun on a warm summer day."
Gums shook his head sadly and took another slow draw off his scotch. Killjoy's first instinct was to tell Gums how foolish he sounded, but he could see that Gums was just about as blue as he could get. Even he had his limits as to how much salt he was willing to rub into a wound.
"What you talking about, old man? You mean to say that you knew her?" Lawrence Adair slapped Gums on the back. He was a mean sort and had only returned from Angola a couple of months ago for killing Jack Greenville in a knife fight. Everybody knew that Jack had been screwing Lawrence's baby sister, so he'd only got eight years. Still, Gums was always leery of him. Once you kill a man, it's no big stretch to kill another one.
"He sure as hell did know her!" Killjoy growled, "Shit, he played in the band at her USO show, fool! Over there in Korea when you were still trying to figure out what to do with that little green bean hanging between your legs and crying for your mama in prison."
Killjoy wasn't afraid of Lawrence on account of Lawrence being his nephew. He'd gotten Lawrence a job selling newspapers down on Canal Street, so Lawrence owed him. Even if he hadn't, Killjoy would have still spoken his mind because that's just the sort of man he was. He'd tell you what he thought of you even after you'd knocked his teeth loose, spitting blood at you while he cussed your whole family all the way back to caveman days.
"Tell him, Gums. Tell him what she said to you." Killjoy had heard the story a thousand times, but now he was getting into the spirit on things thanks to his tenth or twelfth beer so far that day.
Gums straightened up on his stool and focused his eyes on a stage far away. He spoke slowly and deliberately, like somebody reading scripture. He told the whole story this time. This was his time to testify. Not to just how he saw her and she said hello. But he told the story that he'd never told anyone before...the story about what she'd done. "I was just standing there, waiting to go on with the rest of the boys after she was done. She had a whole mess of people around her, escorting her around so's nobody could grab a hold of her...you know, her being a big star and all those men going without for so long and all. Well, she stopped right by me and I didn't notice at first because I had my eyes down. I didn't want to get in no trouble for being disrespectful. So there I am, minding my business, when she walks right up to me in all this crowd. She asks me, `What's your name, soldier?' I looked up at her and I couldn't even hardly talk for a minute. Her eyes were so big, so full of kindness that I got a lump in my throat the size of a melon. She had these eyes, see, that made you want to spill out every bit of sorrow you had just so you could have yourself filled up with good things, beautiful things. It was like she could tell you with her eyes that she knew how the world could beat you up so bad that you got no more room left for anything lovely or clean. I could have wept like a baby right there, just from looking at her. I told her that my name was Gums Chevalier, except my mama called me Franklin. She laughed like a little girl and took my hand. Of course, everybody there just about fell over. Ain't no white lady gonna take the hand of no black solider. That just don't happen. Then she put her arms around me and whispered real quiet in my ear. She smelled sweet, like a big bowl of fresh picked peaches. She told me, `Well, my mama called me Norma Jean. You take care of yourself, Franklin.' Then she gave me a squeeze around the neck and kissed my cheek. Right there, in front of all those people, she treated me like a man. Like any man anywhere in the world. She gave me back my dignity, wrapped it around my neck with her arms. I thought that I was surely dreaming and I'd wake up the next morning to find none of it ever happened. But it did happen. It happened just like that. And today we're gonna go out there and play for her."
Gums' hands were shaking and he wanted to cry, but he didn't. "Whatever happened to her to make her so sad, it don't matter now. But I want her to hear me playing so she'll know I never forgot what she did."
Lawrence was quiet because he was afraid that if he spoke, he'd let out what he was thinking. How he kept all his desires and longings for that same thing...that same something lovely and clean that he hadn't felt since he was a kid. He felt full of something that was good and bad all at once. Maybe it was hope. He didn't know what it was, but he looked at Gums with a new respect. Killjoy stepped off his barstool and picked up his trombone case.
He put his arm around Gums, just like he did when they were boys. Then Killjoy did something Gums hadn't seen him do for at least a couple of years. He smiled. And with that smile, Gums knew that he'd done right by her. "Well, let's get on out there then and play like nobody's business." Killjoy said. He and Gums walked out the door together, with Lawrence following behind, feeling like his face was toward the sun on a warm summer day.
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