Ladies & Gentlemen of the Jury...The New Subway Diet

[catelin]

On the jury trial menu this week--a new twist on the famous diet. Our spokesperson? A 3-time loser who left his toddler in the car at Subway with the windows open and the keys inside. Lost at least 20 pounds right there. How can I get on this new fad diet you ask? Well, instead of ordering a tasty sandwich, you lock yourself in the bathroom, shoot up some crank; then crawl into the ceiling when you hear the cops looking for the parents of the child you left in the car. Cued by the rave-inspired strobe effect of the cop's flashlight, you take a brisk aerobic spin around the ceiling tiles until you come crashing down into the manager's office. Check your heart rate. Not high enough? A nice dive through the plate glass window should get you right into your fat-burning zone. Once the police have you cuffed you can still diminish yourself further by looking at your crying child and telling the cops, "That ain't my kid."

Comments

[doctorgogol.livejournal.com]

It could be worse. You could be his public defender.

[catelin.livejournal.com]

"He is the best physician who is the most ingenious inspirer of hope."
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge


My dear, dear Doctor...that was the sweetest thing you could have said to me. I feel so much better now! ; )

Re:

[doctorgogol.livejournal.com]

I live to bring light to your day, my dear Cate...