(no subject)

[catelin]

It's been a long week at a child abuse conference. Imagine a week of classes filled with all the horrible ways that people can hurt children. It's awful, but probably one of the conferences I most look forward to every year. It's always amazing to me how much I still have to learn after doing this for such a long time. And it's nice to have a week where I can see that there are literally hundreds of people who speak my language, have the same nightmares, the same frustrations....

The only disappointment I had was overhearing a DFPS worker (from another state, thankfully) talking about the families she deals with as "those" people. She was talking about the kids too. "Those" kids. It was a jarring reminder of how marginalized these poor wee things are, how fucked from the very beginning, and how there are still bureaucratic creeps in the world who truly believe that these kids should be able to just get their shit together. Never mind all the issues of poverty, class, race, etc. I really wanted to punch her right in her puckered, self-righteous face. Instead I just politely asked her name and where she worked. Heartfelt and disappointed letter to her supervisor to follow shortly.

It's when I spend weeks like this that I realize why my writing tends to be sappy and focused, perhaps overly so, on love and loyalty...on every corny beautiful thing in the world. It's because I tend to write as a counterbalance to what I see that is heartbreaking and monstrous. It is my soul's cure for all the muck.

So please forgive my sometimes annoyingly keen eye for the loveliness in all of you. It truly is what keeps me breathing most days.

Comments

[kenhighcountry.livejournal.com]

Hey Stranger. Good to see you.

[catelin.livejournal.com]

I have been completely mute with worry for you and L., my beautiful bear friend. Then I realized that I was really more worried for myself, because I couldn't imagine a world where I didn't have the two of you in it in the way I've taken for granted over time. I am selfishly relieved. Don't scare me like that anymore. ; )

[kenhighcountry.livejournal.com]

I'll try not to. It's been an....umm....interesting experience, one that I think will take me a long time to really come to terms with.

[liveavatar.livejournal.com]

As someone who might have needed your services back in the day (if they'd existed), I just want to say thanks for wading through that muck and giving a damn about "those people."

[notwolf.livejournal.com]

i dun have the transportation to come to Big D to see you, ma'am. My Aztek is of the illegal...

[mtaiilauren]

I love u - thank u so much for all that you do to help the wee little ones. The work takes all kind and gentle hands from all over.

-S

[libgirl.livejournal.com]

~hugs~

I have to give you kudos for going to the effort to follow up on that woman and her attitudes and reporting her to someone higher up.

[normalgrrl.livejournal.com]

I would hate to be at one of those conferences. it sounds horrible.
It is great that you can see its value, though.
That woman would have made me so mad too!

[crapediem.livejournal.com]

Thank you for continuing to advocate for children by being vigilant about some so-called advocates. In one online community, I had befriended a woman who seemed, at least initially to me, very interested in various marginalized groups, including abuse survivors of all types. Then, over time, I picked up a constant, unnerved sense about how dismissive she was about certain critical, if seeming subtle things I picked up. Finally, after too much time and much more blatant hints and language, I tried to give her pointed feedback which she absolutely refused to get.

It had dawned on me that despite all the so-called experience and knowledge she had acquired, she (at the least) marginalized all the victims and even if her attitude may not have been picked up, it could be damaging to victims. What was most galling to me was that she was on the cusp of becoming a speaker & trainer in her region to address the general public (and presumably in some areas, direct victims). She was so proud of the fact that she'd 'educate' the so-called ignorant there, but yet she constantly marginalized the victims and the abuse along the way. I truly feared that she would only perpetuate many of the myths and stereotypes.

Since it's 'just' the internet, I couldn't think of anything but to discontinue our acquaintanceship.

[crapediem.livejournal.com]

Also thank you for doing this type of training. I've done a comprehensive "lite" (intro.) version training workshops on general issues in victim advocacy (not exclusive to child abuse), only based on state-wide services and issues only. Ain't easy nor fun work.

(Misc.: Trying to find information about the victims advocacy training, but I think it *might* be related to federal CJ victim services, etc. My state is New York and three years ago, it was one of the pilot state programs to train professionals of different types, new to victim advocacy type of work. Most were, for example, new SA counselors, SANE nurses, those working in DA's offices, etc., etc. though generally the rule of thumb were people who were working with with victims services for under two years. As I said, it is sort of victim advocacy "lite" . )

[rogue-buddha.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Your writing is a breath of fresh air for all of us who are painfully aware of reality's thick, stifling ignorance and inhumanity...

It is these ideals and the best of what we can be that *should* be shared amongst friends...

[sun-set-bravely.livejournal.com]

I love your keen eye for loveliness. Thank you for sharing it with us, always.

[meghainclouds.livejournal.com]

Hey! you are a wonderful writer..read some of your posts and I could relate to a lot of your "slice of your life" posts.

Can I add you as a friend?

[catelin.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! And thanks for the lovely compliment. : )