I've been thinking about writing over the last few days...really thinking about it. Mostly, I've been wondering about the different reasons people write, and how they write--how much or little of their own voices creep into their printed words, what motivates them. I'm not thinking so much about journaling. I can certainly understand most of the many reasons a person might journal. I'm talking about writing for an audience--poetry, fiction, essays...those sorts of things. I was discussing this with my doctor, who often writes for a living. We talked about our reasons for writing and I realized for the first time that not all of us writers go through the same process to create our stories. I think there are different types of writers and I'm trying to figure out what they might be.
I perceive myself as more of a scribe, even though I write fiction for the most part. I chronicle little pieces of people and things that shine and catch my attention somehow. I find a comfort in acknowledging the tremendous battles/losses/heroics/etc. to be found in the smallest of moments. I tell the stories of the angels that dance on the heads of pins...or at least, that's how I think of what I do. I am compelled to write, not so much as a psychological release of my demons, but as a way of reaching out and patting the universe's hand. It's corny, I know. But some of the best and most beautiful things in my life are.
So what is it, writers? What is it that makes you do what you do? How is it you perceive what your purpose in writing is? What do you like or dislike most about it? I'm so intensely curious about this now.
I perceive myself as more of a scribe, even though I write fiction for the most part. I chronicle little pieces of people and things that shine and catch my attention somehow. I find a comfort in acknowledging the tremendous battles/losses/heroics/etc. to be found in the smallest of moments. I tell the stories of the angels that dance on the heads of pins...or at least, that's how I think of what I do. I am compelled to write, not so much as a psychological release of my demons, but as a way of reaching out and patting the universe's hand. It's corny, I know. But some of the best and most beautiful things in my life are.
So what is it, writers? What is it that makes you do what you do? How is it you perceive what your purpose in writing is? What do you like or dislike most about it? I'm so intensely curious about this now.
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When I was a teen, I wrote symphonic music. Then I was in a series of musical groups. I felt constrained by the limitations of pop music and bored by "serious" msuic. I had always written words, but it took many years to find suitable language.
Once I had, I transferred from music to narrative.
If left in a room, my first instinct will be to somehow *make* something. Making things---noise, words, whatever--is my function. This may sound pretentious or something, but I think we all have primary functions. It would be nice if mine were more profitable, but there you have it again--choice. I didn't choose me, I just ended up like this. Heh...although I'lll certainly take credit for all the screwy ways I thought actions would define me.
My ex-wife, a very well-known writer, went sort of crazy some tiem ago. Partially, from writer's block. In interviews, she described this phase as a time spent being nothing, of literally having no idnetity. Her self returned when she was able to make stuff again.
I'm not much different.
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But to be with him and not to write about him, was the same for me, as a writer, as not being with him. It is through the word that I see. To ask me not to write of him, and he did not ask, he demanded was the same as saying to me, "I would rather you be with me with your eyes and tongue cut out, than as the woman I know, because I am ashamed of myself."
It was intolerable.
Oddly, he has a journal now, where he writes occassionally about how the journaling process is immature, offensive self-indulgence.
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I don't do music now because I worry that my efforts would be diluted. But I tend to worry.