The Alfonsina Storni Principle

[catelin]

Painter's Honeymoon---Frederic Leighton

I had been alone a long time with my poems, my pride . . . almost nothing.----Alfonsina Storni



What is it? He didn't know that he'd asked the question, but she heard it just the same. She always heard it, from the beginning of each beginning. It echoed in her head with the gentle timbre of his voice. What is it? She tried desperately not to answer, to ignore it, to pretend he didn't ask. She muffled the sound of it in her head, imagining herself curled in his arms. Willing herself there, eyes closed tight, lips against his chest silently chanting into his skin...as if she could breathe her heart's desire into his. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. As she grew to care for him, so did the urgency of the question in her head. What is it? What is it? She didn't want to answer. Not this time. Not when it mattered so much. Even with all of her wishing, she knew that the words would come out of her. The question whipped against her ears like an angry wind as she made her ascent to the rocky precipice from whence her answer would come. He nuzzled her in his sleep, draping his arm around the curve of her hip. What is it? What is it? The heights from which she looked down drew tears from her eyes that slid sideways into her ears. The weight of her fear filled her pockets like stones. What is it that shall make me want to leave you? She gave herself up to the question and gently laid herself into the wind, letting go of her hold on the steep rocks, telling herself he would wake her. Trust in him. Trust. He would softly chide her for her foolishness. They would find themselves tangled together in the morning sun, with nothing changed between them. Halfway down, still half-believing in him, she opened her eyes and realized she'd been alone all along.

Comments

[raveen.livejournal.com]

you are gonna make me cry with a story like that... it sounded so wonderful only to be heartbroken at the end... but a wonderfully written story nonetheless

[catelin.livejournal.com]

You know, I think that's what my epitaph shall be (well, if I even have one...I plan on being cremated...years and years and years from now when I'm about 100!).

"A wonderfully written story nonetheless." ; )

Re:

[raveen.livejournal.com]

perfect... but you seem like much more than a wonderfully written story nonetheless... perhaps... if you dropped the nonetheless... it would be perfect

snuffle

[lolliejean.livejournal.com]

Wait! Where's the part when they wake up and laugh about her bad dream over buttered biscuits with marmalade and a cup of general foods international coffee?

I enjoyed the story even though it didn't end with "and they all lived happily ever after." :)

Re: snuffle

[catelin.livejournal.com]

Funny...I would have liked that ending better too. Always the optimist, even in the face of despair! : )

[tamperevident.livejournal.com]

*cries*
you are right on the ball there, yet again...

very true, and very beautifully written. i have spent many, many years thinking about this.

*cant stop crying*
i think this hit a raw nerve...

[corylus.livejournal.com]

The painting gave me inky eyes and tilted my head. Absolutely tender and gentle and alive.

The story...WHOA! Vivid.
"Willing herself there, eyes closed tight, lips against his chest silently chanting into his skin..." Wonderful passage.
"The weight of her fear filled her pockets like stones."

This is heartbreaking and brilliantly written.

[catelin.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Shae. : ) Don't forget to call me tomorrow if you get a chance. Otherwise, I'll try to call on Thursday!

Trust

[sun--king.livejournal.com]

Wow. Nice touch. Proves why we should just all 'trust in chocolate'.

Re: Trust

[catelin.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm thinking that's not such a bad idea.

[wistful.livejournal.com]

oh oh oh! i thought u took it out of a book. haha
in other words, u write damn well! love this.

[catelin.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Re:

[wistful.livejournal.com]

hey, u look like such a pretty lass in that picture up there. (the one with the black hat thing) :) have a gd day

beautiful

[froglegs.livejournal.com]

So vivid! The weight of her fear filled her pockets like stones. I know that feeling!

Re: beautiful

[catelin.livejournal.com]

Alfonsina filled her pockets with stones, threw herself from a cliff and drowned in the ocean. I've identified with her often, but, lucky for me, you can't really drown in self pity. ; )

Re: beautiful

[froglegs.livejournal.com]

You are wonderful! You make reference to something beautiful that I don't know, I go off to look for it and find it, then I come back here and someone else has found an even nicer reference and conveniently supplied a link. lj is so cool!

[verian.livejournal.com]

Knowing who she was and how she died (http://www.geocities.com/womenpoets/storni.html) does give added weight to this prose piece Cate. Thank you for enlightening me. Very well constructed and well written. Bravo!

[corylus.livejournal.com]

thanks for the link. now my head is even heavier and my eyes sweatier.

Re:

[verian.livejournal.com]

A pleasure to be of service :)

[catelin.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you like it. I'm also glad you found a link about her! Some of her poetry is really wonderful. She was a very interesting woman.

22 on the highway

[notwolf.livejournal.com]

...keep it up and i'm fillin' the tank and polishin my Tony Lama's...

[raindog.livejournal.com]

This is really, really good CC. And I'm feeling too far away.

[chaizzilla.livejournal.com]

mrrh.. did i read this wrong or did she trust him to be able to read her mind?