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Yesterday I joined a group of eight women for a tour of hill country wineries. We ranged in age from post-menopausal to barely old enough to drink. We had a limo and plenty of wine in between stops. I knew some of my companions better than others, but by the end of the day we were all friends in the way that only a grand-scale girls' day out can produce. We shared secrets (I can't spill), silliness (I kept making motions of grabbing the tour guide's ass and got spanked with a slat from an oak barrel), sadness (a divorce after 37 years of marriage to the only man she's ever been with, ended in an afternoon of explanation once he'd installed his 20-something mistress into their house), all washed in some of the best wine you can find in Texas and cemented with one of the nicest meals I've ever had.
I'm a big believer in the healing energy of the girlfriend circle. Whether it's a tiny circle of just my arms around a friend with a broken heart, or a large circle with women in every direction, I believe that there is power and salvation in remembering who we are. It reminds us to fight and forgive, to support and share. It reminds us of everything that is essential to our gender and our hearts. I looked out at rows and rows of grapes just barely hinting at the harvest to come and wished that a lost friend were there because I couldn't think of anyone else but her who would have enjoyed the day so much as the rest of us there. I don't know what other people do with those spaces where someone used to be. Me, I just keep talking. You would have loved this. The steak would have been your favorite. There was a wine that tasted of chocolate and raspberries! You would have, you would have, you would..... I fill those spaces with the conversations that will likely never happen and with the best of what I remember.
The sun set and we finished the last of our wine, all of us full and sated in ways that had nothing to do with food or drink. All of us filling the spaces as we made the ride home, conversing in our silence with the women we'd wished were there.
I'm a big believer in the healing energy of the girlfriend circle. Whether it's a tiny circle of just my arms around a friend with a broken heart, or a large circle with women in every direction, I believe that there is power and salvation in remembering who we are. It reminds us to fight and forgive, to support and share. It reminds us of everything that is essential to our gender and our hearts. I looked out at rows and rows of grapes just barely hinting at the harvest to come and wished that a lost friend were there because I couldn't think of anyone else but her who would have enjoyed the day so much as the rest of us there. I don't know what other people do with those spaces where someone used to be. Me, I just keep talking. You would have loved this. The steak would have been your favorite. There was a wine that tasted of chocolate and raspberries! You would have, you would have, you would..... I fill those spaces with the conversations that will likely never happen and with the best of what I remember.
The sun set and we finished the last of our wine, all of us full and sated in ways that had nothing to do with food or drink. All of us filling the spaces as we made the ride home, conversing in our silence with the women we'd wished were there.