Value

I noticed the other day that I’d been added to some sort of journal by a guy who purports to be writing a book about online journalistas (a word I prefer to the awful sounding “blogger” or the even worse “weblogger”). I am flattered that anyone would have thought to nominate me for anything, but I am immediately uncomfortable with the idea of anything that turns my journal into a hat in a ring. I am especially uncomfortable with someone who likens the process of choosing which journals to focus on with the preliminary rounds of American Idol. I haven’t ever even watched American Idol for precisely the reason that this whole “nomination” and screening process really oogs me out. I don’t like competition. I hate it, in fact. This may strike many of you who know me as ironic, since I have lived much of my life in very competitive environments—graduate school, law school, and later, courtrooms. I also write and submit what I write for publication, which is a form of competition on some level…my piece vs. other writers’ pieces on an editor’s desk. But here, in this little virtual home I have crafted for myself over the last three years or so, I have found a sanctuary from the competitive world. I can simply be and write. I have never made much of the whole “friends list” drama that can go on. I have rarely taken any addition or subtraction of my journal personally (with the exception of the very few times that it was meant personally). I have added people to my own reading list for many different reasons. Some of the people I enjoy reading the most are the journals in which I rarely comment. I also read many journals that are not on my friends list. I am never limited in any way here and I love that. Readers and writers in my journal come and go with an ease that has always made my journal feel like my own comfortable little kitchen table, where friends and travelers can drop in or out at their leisure. I write for myself first, but I write as an act of sharing as well. Words are the bread I break here with people that I care about greatly. My life is so full from the connections I’ve made here. I have always maintained that my experience here is the absolute best of what the internet can be. It is what my fogey geek friends and I used to daydream about years and years ago…virtual salons where people from all over the world could meet and interact with one another. It is an extraordinary medium that never ceases to fascinate me. It is flattering that anyone takes the time to read what I write, and gratifying when someone feels compelled to comment on what I had to say. I am always glad when someone introduces me to other people here, by way of comments or posts in their own journal. My journal is my song, no doubt about that; but I’m no game show contestant. And the true value of what goes on here will always be found in the sharing of words, in the act of coming to my table and sitting down for a while; not by standing outside the window taking notes while you read my lips.