I went through s'thing similar, just different time frame. i was raised a lot like you, and also wanted to fit in just as badly, much to the chagrin of my mother-- people can call it "selling out" or "giving in", but i don't think those people remember how all encompassing a thing like peer pressure can be. even if no one is saying to you "be this way, you'll be cool if you do it," you still feel it surrounding you, a big unspoken thing.

i feel like the generation before us will always be afraid for the next-- they seem so careless, so unsocialized and so primed for big fuckups, and i know i want to tell them to not do all the stupid stuff i did, but i think it's inevitable for people to stumble in the same places. i just worry about the ones who never seem to get it together.

Maybe we need to get it together at an earlier age? Socializing young women so that they don't automatically look for the approval in the eyes of (sometimes predatory) strangers seems like a start. but what a huge thing it is to buck against the grain like that, esp when we all, men and women alike, crave being accepted and liked.

anyway, thanks for letting me ramble, Catelin!