Threes and Sevens

[catelin]

I always find it interesting that the people who owe the biggest apologies are the ones who are always the least likely to offer them. It took me a long time to make my peace with that. I used to wait for the acknowledgement, the "I was a schmuck" head shake, something to somehow recognize behavior that was inexcusable for the given time and place. Now I don't even care. I give people three chances. I figure that allows for bad days, bad timing, psychotic episodes, whatever. After the third chance is gone, the relationship will change without question. On the seventh day, if there has been no effort to right the wrong, then I quickly and mercilessly excise you from my life. You. You tend to be the same person every time, just wearing a different face. I usually never say a word. It just happens and you don't notice it until you bother to look up and look around. I move on without any thought other than what a pity it is that people are such cowards, and then I get on with living my life. I recognize you more quickly now. And you get less of me every time we meet. I am growing bigger and you are growing smaller each time. One day you won't even dare approach me.

Comments

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

I'm adding this to my memories, because I think it's a pattern I should consider. (It's usually the twenty-somethingth, or fiftieth, chance before I catch on, but I'm trying to change that.)

[catelin.livejournal.com]

I found it helpful to set a number as a boundary. My three are big ones, not small nitpicky things...but it's made a huge difference as to the shit I willingly put myself through with people who are not willing to expend any effort to maintain the relationship from their end.

[kalliope.livejournal.com]

this hits home today cate....

[kissel.livejournal.com]

I'm quite a schmuck, and on top of that I never took you to the drive-in. Of course logistics of WI, TX, NY and AZ have hindered that date just a lil' bit.

So how many strikes is that?

xxxooo
kissel

[catelin.livejournal.com]

You haven't even gotten one good strike yet, doofus.

[tchatchke.livejournal.com]

Right on.

[savyasachi.livejournal.com]

Took me such a long time to learn this! The important thing is that I did.

I really like this usericon - Durga gives you SUCH a feeling of power! Besides, the symbols of power, wisdom, wealth and success are all female in Hinduism - without any male counterparts.

[catelin.livejournal.com]

Durga is so beautiful and fierce! I keep a picture of her in my bedroom to remind me that I should always strive to be strong and wise. : )

Finally posting a comment.

[pagantechie.livejournal.com]

Stumbled across this journal on a random, and have been reading it, enthralled, ever since. I am captivated by your words, you have a way of expressing things so as to make a person really feel it. I would like to add you as a friend, if it is ok; and hope to be able to post more intelligent comments in the future.

Re: Finally posting a comment.

[catelin.livejournal.com]

No need to ask at all. Welcome! : )

[quuf.livejournal.com]

This is a big one with me. I tolerate all manner of faults (being a welter of them myself), but when it's clear that someone is incapable of apology, I send him packing -- to the the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

And yes, cowardice is the word. Thank you for that.