catelin

I can relate to this as well. I recently found out that one of my cousins does not know who his father is, because he is a product of rape. His mother was raped by her eldest sister's husband and the entire family kept it a secret "to protect the child." I have been so sickened by this. Here is my entire family protecting a rapist, while he sits as a patriarch in the family. Here is my poor aunt, raising her son, bringing him to family reunions where she was certain to encounter her rapist. Here is my entire family living with their fundamentalist religious principles, so heavy with hipocrisy. I just have had such a hard time getting my head around it. I know that it too was influenced by the time, but then there is the mystery of who my brother's father is... he was born when my mother was 16 and while she did tell us he had a different father from my sister and I, that she married him because you had to get married when you got pregnant back then, she has never told any of us who my brother's dad is. I long ago distanced from my family because of religious intolerance, and now that I know this and it pulls me in two different directions. On the one hand I feel even more strongly that I made the right choice in separating myself from them. On the other hand, sheds new questions on the issues of my brother and it makes me question if my relationship with my family is or should really be over. It leaves me so chilled and lost. I can't decide how to proceed... if this is just another way that my family draws me into their drama, or if it is another good reason to disown them. I haven't told anyone this. Interesting how the internet works.

I am happy for you that you found out more about your history, and that perhaps your generation can bring this to rights somehow. I certainly can empathise with your struggle with the older generation.