Wheels

Went to a party last night and saw a woman who works with all the kids who are victims of child abuse/molestation/rape/younameit. The shorter and lighter hair threw her off for a minute, but when she recognized me, she went into a recitation of my last closing argument in a child rape case. She told my handsome escort that I was amazing, the best lawyer she'd ever seen in a trial; and then she soulfully asked if I could come back. Things have been rough since I'd left. I knew that. We talked about how some of the girls were doing, how some of the other cases looked. I miss these cases, and there's no doubt I'm a trial lawyer above anything else. I love trial. I love the pace of it, the swordfight element of it. I'm good at it and it feels good to do something you for which you have a talent.

I still have the occasional trial, but not at the breakneck pace I had when I worked for the state. Now the trials are further and farther between, mostly because my clients are usually guilty and we're just trying to work out a solution that everyone can live with...but once in a while I get someone who needs to try their case, who needs that particular sort of justice that only a trial can give. I don't think I could go back to work for the state. I miss it, without a doubt; but my life is fuller now and I am not willing to sacrifice so much of my time and my family to the job. I do other things now. I have other interests and the time to pursue them for a change. I miss being on the side of right all the time, and now I have to look harder to find the right in a situation. I have to look more closely to see the good in the people I deal with, but it's still there most of the time. It's a good experience for me, navigating the middle ground for a change when I am a person who tends to be most comfortable with absolutes. I'm growing...and that's precisely what I should be doing.