Heat

Oh, Sallie Mae, I hate you in so many ways. I hate you because I have been your bitch for the last decade and owe you more now than when I started. I hate you because I am one of millions of poor suckas and you could care less about me. I hate you because you hire the most slack-jawed drooling fucking idiots you can find and put them in Customer Service. I really think that I would have a better chance of getting through to a rotting corpse than "Miss Johnson" or her supervisor. The head zombie is still a zombie, after all. I hate you because for the last few months every payment on my student loans has somehow been credited to an account that was deferred, instead of to the account that was due. I hate you because you don't seem to make the connection with your mishandling of my accounts and my now past due status. Oh, I hate you Sallie Mae. You are the reason I cheer at the end of Fight Club. You are the reason I despise money lenders. If you were a person I would do a Stuck in the Middle With You dance and wear your ears on a necklace afterward. I'd introduce you to my leeetle friend. I'd beat you and bury you and dance on your grave. I would do all that with not a single whit of regret. You are what's wrong with this country, you bloodsucking evil faceless corporate empire of doom.

Moon Cat

My cat went to sleep this afternoon. I hope his dreams are good.

Sweet Journey, Butchie. We will miss you.