catelin: (hopper)
( Dec. 29th, 2008 06:54 am)
The holiday this year was small and cozy, probably one of the best that I've had in ages. The focus this year was on doing more, interacting more, and not necessarily buying more. I realized that it's been several years now that I stopped shopping at Walmart and most of the other giant megacorpsuckers, no small feat out in rural Texas. It wasn't any big political act. I was in Walmart, got completely skeeved out by the feeling that I was going to end up as some old lady buying Soylent Green there one day; so I simply left my cart, walked out and never went back. That was the beginning of a sea change in the way that I lived, where simplicity and after-market stuff became more important. I haven't had a credit card in over five years, by choice. I shop thrift and consignment for almost everything I can now. We recycle, we compost. We try. It's not perfect and I certainly don't do anything to the point of being able to get haughty about it with anyone...lord knows I love to get haughty! ; )

My goals this year are balance and simplicity--two things I've had much too little of in the last year. I realize, though, that my life has been complicated by my response to it. I need to take things with a bit more aplomb this year. I need to see each day as its own as much as I see the interconnections with all the other days past and future.

One of the smaller things I'm doing, beginning today, is reading a book during my lunch. I have spent the last year working through lunch more often than not, wolfing down something while I read police reports or look at autopsy photos. But today, my lunch hour will become my own. I have so little quiet time that I figured this was the easiest place to carve it out. No computer, no noise, just me and my lunch with a book. Another tiny footstep in what I feel is a good direction, and tiny footsteps feel more natural to me these days than the giants leaps and bounds of my past.

I'm not talking about becoming smaller or less grand in any way, mind you. I think of the coming year and focusing on my life as a beautiful mosaic, where every small piece deserves its space and appreciation. That's easier said than done, but I am good at doing not-so-easy things. I think I have a chance.

May we all be spectacular in the coming year, in every possible good way there is to be--to ourselves and to one another.


catelin: (Default)

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